Soul Searching: How I found mine in a Portuguese Sweat Lodge
Disclaimer: Sweat Lodges are a powerful ceremony indigenous to the Native American culture. Sweat Lodges can only be led by spiritual leaders who have been given the right to do so by an Elder of the community, after years of intensive training & teachings. If you are invited to participate in a Sweat Lodge, please ensure you research your leader & their ability to facilitate before taking part. This is an incredibly powerful ceremony that can be fatal if not performed correctly.
It was the middle of the day in mid-September. The sun was scorching hot. I was at a spiritual retreat nestled in the hills on the Southwest coast of Portugal and deliberating whether to fake an acute illness and make a run for it back to my room. We were setting up our Sweat Lodge where we would pile in and sit in 40+ degree heat shortly after. I asked the leader of the lodge how long we would be in there for so I could try and mentally comprehend this, her answer… “how long is spirit time” — I knew at that moment that once inside the lodge, I was in this for the long haul whether I liked it or not. I could have easily found an excuse to leave but, although the fear of sitting inside this purpose-built sweat lodge, literally built for you to sweat was incredibly tense at the moment, the desire to overcome it was even stronger.
If anyone reading this has sat in a Sweat Lodge ceremony, then you will know exactly what I am talking about, including the fear beforehand. If you haven’t, Sweat Lodges have been used for thousands of years by Native American tribes, as a purification ceremony. You literally sweat out any toxins within the body. The idea is that the lodge in which you sit resembles the mother’s womb, and once you complete the ceremony and exit the lodge, you are rebirthed as a new version of yourself. A pretty incredible concept that I had to experience for myself.
As a very light-skinned British girl who has never lived anywhere where the average weather isn’t cloudy with a chance of rain, I was definitely not accustomed to sitting in intense heat. On top of this, as someone who has experienced serious bouts of anxiety throughout my lifetime, I would carry my water bottle around with me like it was my first-born child just in case I felt unwell (anyone who has experienced chronic anxiety will understand this one!). Naturally, this was on my mind a lot while we got ready for the ceremony. “What if I’m sick”, “What if I get so dehydrated, I make myself ill” “What if I desperately need to get out and I can’t”. These statements ran around my head as fast as they could while I helped to prepare the lodge. It would soon be ready so if I needed to duck out, the time was now, or it would be too late.
Just as I was about to fake an illness and make my swift exit back up to the air conditioning of my room, I heard an undeniable voice inside me that I couldn’t ignore. My soul was calling and urging me to sit in the lodge. As much as I was desperate to ignore this, there was no way I could. At this moment, my intuition was stronger than ever, and it was telling me I had to do this.
I would be ok.
In fact, I would be more than ok, this would be my biggest mental challenge to date, and I was going to pass with flying colours. I decided in that moment, I was going to sit in the ceremony, and I was going to sit until the very end. I would not allow myself to complain, and I would not allow myself to ask to leave. This was an incredible mental challenge, but it was something I had to do. There was no doubt in my mind that this was my soul speaking to me. I was going to do this.
We entered the lodge and I sat as comfortably as I could. I took a big deep breath, and I entered a space mentally & physically that was fully led by my soul. I was no longer present as the physical version of myself as I knew, I was present as my soul. I felt I belonged there. My soul knew how to handle this situation. It knew I would be ok. It knew that I would purify my mind and body in this ceremony, and it would lead the way. I just needed to trust.
It started getting hot. Very hot. I joined in with singing and chanting to distract me from the heat which began to suffocate my surroundings, singing songs and chanting words I had never heard before, most in Portuguese, but somehow, I knew the words and my soul led me to join in.
The atmosphere inside the lodge was starting to shift as the other participants were beginning to become increasingly uncomfortable. But I continued to sit there. I placed my hands on the Earth and asked Pachamama for strength. In this moment, I felt centuries of wisdom from the ground beneath me channel through my hands and into my body. With every drop of sweat that left me and returned to the ground, I was becoming anew. I was sweating out the version of me that was scared, frightened, ready to run at the first hurdle and the beautiful ground was returning to me sacred wisdom, knowledge, courage, and strength.
When it was time to leave, we crawled out of the lodge one by one and exited back into the real world. Night had fallen. The cold air pierced through my body and soaking wet hair. I opened my hands out wide and inhaled the air. I had been reborn. The girl that went into the lodge was not the woman who came out. I had done it. I had beaten my fears. I had overcome my worries, anxieties and doubts and I had stepped into a life led by my soul.
I can hand on heart say that the experience I had in the Sweat Lodge on that day changed my life. I overcame the most mentally challenging experience I had ever had. I made it through. I made it to the end. I built a form of mental resistance that I can now carry with me every day.
My soul had led me that day. I dropped the ego, I dropped fear, I dropped the outer self. I listened entirely to my soul, and it led me to a place of mental strength that I had never experienced before. No matter what situation or challenge we may find ourself facing, through listening to the whispers of our Soul, our intuition, our inner guide, we will only be led to places of growth, expansion, freedom & love.
